Nothing to Lose

How well do we know one another? There’s this quantitative number associated with the amount of access we give. Teams select the best talent to fit the current and future state of effectiveness. That’s how they win. You can’t choose family to win or lose with or too. The selection criteria we assume others should follow is not as transparent as we hope and time tells us so. I would be so bummed out when I was not selected first so I could judge the others selectees because a decision was made early and I had already been on the team. That hierarchy of thought mattered to my insecurities. At some point I lost the credibility required to be selected first or even at all. I was alone but knew everybody that was still in the game or at least in the conversation about being selected next. I finally had to resolve within myself that I’m the coach, team, audience and cheerleader that will need to find something to entertain in my doubts about my feelings. No one had to care nor was I expecting a hand out. I had traded places with who I judged when I was selected first. I didn’t have any top cover or protection from my flaws or vulnerability so I asked myself two questions. 1. How did I get here and do I want to stay? God answered both with allowing me today and only today to decide. If I had enough to be chosen by those that could decide my worth was I selling myself short? I had been ignoring every blessing God sent to discredit the lies I wanted to believe. I found peace in the freedom to be honest with myself not allowing anyone that couldn’t add to the restored peace God created. The narrative of my internal forgiveness of not being who I would never be to all of those thems was now in the past and there it stays. I’ve realized that some of those best friends weren’t, we just gelled well and had similar interests. Those folks I truly needed God sent them and I cherish the moments we can praise him together through those we serve with genuine intent and service. You don’t lose friends when God sends angels to protect the investment of your virtue and trust in him. Amen

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