I’m so grateful for all the things that have not worked out. I’m even more grateful for the humble place God has caught my attention. I recognize there is nothing anyone can do for me. God has provided in overflow and in abundance. I’ve either not appreciated, failed to invest wisely, or given it away not understand the genuine value of love. I have missed the mark of perfection by eons of miles no matter how close anyone else can judge specific accomplishments that say otherwise. I’m built different and being vulnerable to watching God move while I remain patient is still uncomfortable, but I've become more resilient to honor his work more than my efforts.
I can accept that I’ve made the hill steep and my legs weary worrying about what happens at the top. I’ve chosen not to accept pain as a condition but a reminder that healing is occurring. I have followed the steps of repent, prayer, praise, recover and do better the next time too many times. It works but the order is out of sequence for my growth and God's trust. This cycle becomes real the second I you start with praising God for all that he’s done and not asking for anything for yourself. Everything else is extra.
It matters where you begin or at least when you sense God’s plan is bigger than your agenda. It will force your fears to become ignorant of your faults and identity who made you this way. I would ask that you honor the notion that your awareness is the beginning of an awakening to a relationship you must commit to if you value God’s love over a blessing’s attention.
The clarity you gain in loving the space God created between you and all the things he has separated from your control are quiet, peaceful and gratifying. This is when the relationship takes you through what will become the testimony that blesses others on your journey. It will reveal why peace beyond your understanding was necessary. If you’re confused by it all, that’s God removing your hands from it. When you stop living in what you thought it would be God shows you how much better it’s going to get. Amen